Monthly Archives: October 2012

Why I Share (part 2)

October 31, 2012

Now, I know you’ve read the “why I share” post on my site, but I wanted to share a different “why I share” here, hence the reason for the #2.  It’s tied into that last blog post I made and I feel it’s important for me to share some more…

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Responding Back

October 31, 2012

So as you’ve heard me share before I had a very popular blog, marryblaire.com in 2004-2005 where I was documenting my hunt to find a hubby.  At that time when the site was up I got a lot of emails and comments on messages boards about my quest.  Most were positive, but some were not.

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I’ve Ripened

October 31, 2012

So yesterday when I was driving home from teaching on the beach… and I was thinking about my life these days… what has recently happened, with all these insights and a new way of being in my business — I got really happy.  Grateful.  Excited.  And then more happy.  And it dawned on me.

I’ve finally RIPENED!

See the process of stepping into my power has been what feels like a long one.  A hard one.  A frustrating one.  One of struggle and pain.  I think that when you go through the process of reclaiming your personal power that this is the way it goes.  You have to build up enough frustration, pain, anger — heat — that you bust loose.  You bust out of old ways of being in order to claim the REAL YOU.

You take back your power.

And again, I never knew that this was the process of getting fully on your life’s path but now it all makes complete sense.

For years I wanted to know how to be fully on my path.  Not on it and then off of it.  Not flirting with it.  Not some good days and others that you’re floundering.  But all days, on it, completely, totally.  I wanted to totally and completely be there.

And when I would tell this to my angels, guides and ascended masters over and over again… I kept telling them – very firmly… I’m ready, I’m ready… I want this, I want this… show me.  I’m ready!

Well, they kept telling me to…

1 – Stay in the present moment and take care of what I needed to do that was right in front of me.  Healing and growth.

2 – I need time to ripen.

Isn’t that funny?  They told me that some of us just need time to ripen.  Funny, right?!  But it makes sense.  An apple grows on a tree.  You wouldn’t pick it off the tree before it’s ready (although I know many do) – but you wait until it looks big and juicy and the right color before you pick it.  In other words you wait for it to ripen.

A piece of fruit that is not fully grown – that is not fully ripened is of no use if it’s not fully there.

Same deal with us.

And that’s why you can’t rush this process of growth, learning and healing.

You can be impatient and eager about it… which I think is good as it inspires you to move along the  path and get the healing work done that you need.  It keeps you focused on your journey, but in the end, you can put all the effort out there, but you need to wait… you must wait… for the Universe to step in… for nature to take over.. for yourself to RIPEN.

And that’s a great experience.  One of intensity in waiting for it.  One of impatience.  One of eagerly awaiting.  And one of anxiety.  But yet, when the time comes, it comes… and there you are.

You’ve ripened.

I’m happy to say that I’ve ripened.

It’s something that you feel, it’s something that you know.

Yippee!

Feels so freakin’ fantastic!  I’m happy that I’ve made it.  I’m happy that I’m here!

(PS:  You do realize that there is ANOTHER journey for me to go on… this journey just doesn’t stop) 🙂

The Desire To Be Liked And Approved

October 31, 2012

Dear Friends, today I want to talk about the desire to be liked and approved of by people.  This is a natural, normal human desire, but one… when we are stepping into the role of teacher, healer, and leader is something that we have to learn to disregard.  We have to learn to turn off that desire.  We have to learn to turn off those fears.  We have to turn off the looking outward for approval and instead turn that approval system inside… to ourselves.  To our internal selves.

See friends, there’s an irony here.  An irony amongst us lightworkers.  We are sensitive beings.  We pick up things in the “unknown” realms.  We are able to help people because of this special gift, but we also must learn how to use this gift properly.  I think this is going to be each one of ours strongest, biggest lessons… To overcome that fear of being rejected and being criticized.

See, the irony here is that many of us have been left out when we were younger.  Maybe considered the “black sheep” … many of us judged or criticized or made fun of.  So when we grow up, we’ve adapted.  We’ve adapted to avoid any scrutiny and to instead blend in.  Play small.  HIDE.

We don’t want to experience that stuff of the past, so we shrink.  Makes sense, right?

We all developed some sort of defense mechanism to keep ourselves safe.  (Do you know what yours is?)

But when your soul’s call gets stronger.  When the push gets firmer.  When we feel we are “riping up” and we want to be out in the world doing our mission, then it becomes time to get over this insecurity.

To reverse the old.  To clear up and heal the past.

So instead of hiding because we fear standing out… being the black sheep… being criticized or judged…. instead of hiding from this stuff… that we INSTEAD go out there DESPITE IT.

For friends, there comes a point that instead of looking outside of yourself to be loved and approved, you look INSIDE.

You are the one who decides if what you are saying is good.

You are the one who decides if what you are saying has merit.

You are the one who decides if what you are saying is truth.

You decide.

You decide.

You decide.

So then it’s no longer a looking outside for love and affection… approval and belonging… you provide this inside, for yourself.

This is where I am now.  It’s something I’ve been working on for several months, maybe a year or longer, it’s been lesson after lesson and incident after incident… and as you saw by my last post, those little fears and desires still come up.

Hey, we’re all a work in progress!

The key is to keep working at it.  Keep doing it.  Keep growing through it.  Keep healing it.

I am 🙂

Glad to have you on this journey!

 

Noticing A New Fear That Has Come Up

October 31, 2012

So I’ve been noticing a new worrisome fear that has come up – as a result of this “new me.”  It’s kind of a funny, weird fear.. but yet it’s here.  It’s a private post so I am going to fill up this space right here that shows as a “preview” to non-members, so that I share this only with my people.  So that it only gets shared with you.

For friends, this is a place for all of us to go through our journey, however publicly or privately as we want.  One of my students suggested that I add a forum or a place where each of you can blog your journey individually, to share how you change from reading this blog, and I think that’s a great idea and something I am going to look into and start adding today.

So let’s get back to the topic here, as I know the “preview” section is now closed and only my people are reading this.  So what is that new fear that is coming up?

It’s the fear that my spiritual teachers – big time ones – who I have learned from remotely over the years with don’t like me anymore.  Hahah.  I have to laugh, cause this is kind of a crazy thought, but I’ll tell you what’s been going on… and maybe, hopefully from my example you can see how some of your thoughts / fears / worries are a bit “crazy” as well.  This will help us all heal and release these irrational thoughts 🙂

So, over the last year or two, I’ve been on the radar of some very big spiritual teachers.  They have been liking my work and letting me know that they “approve” of it.    These are people who I have learned from remotely with for some time or people who are “big names” that I have admired for something or the other.

Well, with this “new side of me” which is really the “real me” has come out in these videos and I have been very passionate, pretty verbal, and maybe controversial… well, I have noticed some fear.  Fear of not being liked by them anymore…. Fear of being judged my them… Fear of not “being good enough” to hang out with them and be a colleague of theirs.

Now I know this may sound crazy… and it probably is, because again spiritual teachers are “not supposed to be judgmental” but like my first and second video shares, well, we are all on our own path and maybe, yes, probably many still are.  In the end we all have our human qualities.

So this going into a new topic — the desire to be liked and approved of… and I think this is a good place to stop this blog post and I’ll turn the next topic into the next blog post…

Talk to you in a few 🙂

Old Habits Die Hard (?)

October 31, 2012

Last night I did my weekly beach spiritual talk and meditation.  As I was driving to the beach several very strong ideas popped into my head to make videos about.  I quickly wrote down the ideas (and also felt a little bummed that they came up at that time, as I was thinking about what I was going to teach about that night) – and then when I got home I made videos talking about the points that had come to me earlier.

Later that night I was thinking…. “Damn Blaire, you did it again!  You made FREE videos when you should just be sharing this privately for those who read your blog.  Why are you doing free stuff again.”

I couldn’t believe it.  The excitement swept me up and and took over.  I loved making the videos.  Feeling my power.  Feeling the powerful message come through.

And then two things came to my mind…

1 – Old habits die hard.

2 – Don’t be so hard on yourself.  Practice not judging your actions.

About #1, yes, this could be true, but I don’t think totally in this case.  I still feel I’m getting out the word on this new project I am doing and rounding up “my people.”  This whole “rounding up my people” is a new thing for me, so I feel extra excited about it as I never felt like I had “people” to round up.

So I think that’s part of why I am doing these videos.  I feel a calling.

The other thing is I could also see this as an excuse, and damnit, I’m “supposed to be” a role model.  I said I wasn’t doing anything else for free, yet I just did….

So I’m not sure about this now.

When you are starting a new habit and a new way of being, there’s sometimes confusion (amongst the clarity).

It’s normal.  Pretty natural.  I feel that from the videos I have already put out I am attracting a different kind of person.  That I am already being looked at as differently and that I am already presenting myself in a different way.

I’m just going to give this one some time.  I am going to relax into the new me… and practice “observing” myself.  I caught myself going back to my old pattern of filming and then wanting to share… and stopped myself.

Yes, I made the two videos – but no I haven’t published them yet.

I haven’t published about 7 videos I have already made – and that already is something new and something different (usually I get so excited I put them out right away).

But now I’m waiting.  Feeling the energy before each step and just letting myself settle into this new way of being.

We’ll see how it goes.  I know it’s bound to be good… it always is.

 

Doing What You Know Is Right

Today I want to talk about the idea of doing what you know is right – for yourself – even if it means going against the stream of what other people do.  Yes, this has to do with my most recent video.

You see, everywhere you look experts, gurus, teachers, healers, leaders write and publish free articles, blogs, radio shows, videos.  There’s loads of free information out there that usually is put out on a once a week basis.  I feel into this “trap” and although it did bring me some rewards, it is no longer the way for me…. right now.

For right now, I care to take my business to the next level.  I care to make more money.  I care to live a luxurious life that I have always dreamt of.  I am ready for all of this right now.  I am also interested in working with more people, more intimately.  To me, that means not doing things for free.  Not randomly putting my video or blog post or article out to the ethers, delivering information in order to reach more people, with anonymity on the other end of things (because that’s basically how it is when you are doing those types of things)…  so although I am going against the stream of how “everyday people” do it, I am sticking to my stance, because I know it’s right FOR ME.

And friends, that’s all what matters in your life as well.  Doing what is right FOR YOU.  For it is YOUR LIFE.  YOUR CAREER.  And your happiness.

And that’s where I’m at right now.  So although at times my “mental” mind will say, “Blaire, what are you doing?  This may not be the greatest move?  And what about all the traffic you get on your blog, etc….?”  I simply say to those thoughts, I’m not going there anymore.  I am no longer living in that fear of things I “have to do” in order to be successful or “be liked” and instead I am doing what I feel is right for me — because in the end, it’s more important for me to like myself and feel good about what I am doing, than for others to approve of me.

I wish the same for you on your journey.

I’m Not Doing This For Free Anymore

October 31, 2012

This is the video I shared with my mailing list and on Facebook today.  I will discuss the behind the scenes thoughts I had about it in my next post.

 

Charging, Discounting, and Donations

October 31, 2012

I wanted to write another post about charging for your spiritual gifts and talents vs discounting and accepting donations.  The thing that came to mind…. well just another thought about how ridiculous the profession of spirituality has become is because spiritual services are the only services where their clients are given the opportunity to donate.

Here’s what I was thinking about this morning….. If you are going to rent an apartment or buy a house, there’s a cost to that investment.  Maybe you can negotiate a little bit but in the end, there is a cost.  No one is ever going to say to you “Sure, rent my apartment…. and no problem, pay what you can”  or “Sure, you can rent my apartment…. there is a suggested love donation of $2,000 a month” – WHAT?  No way.

Same deal with when you are going to buy or lease a car.  There’s a set price.  Sure you can negotiate a bit… but you’d never hear Ferrari or even Honda or Ford say… “Pay what you feel it’s worth.”  Absolutely ridiculous.

And one more example, because this post is so much fun with the ridiculousness that goes on in the spiritual field…. How about going to a spa for a spa service.  Massages are $150-300.  You will never, ever, ever go to a spa and have them say “How about you pay in installments” or “For you, I’ll do this fancy pantsy massage for a suggested donation of $50.”  Will never happen.

So why is it in a field, a helping field people discount left and right?

Well, because it’s a HELPING FIELD.  And because we want to help people.  And because we think or rather we’ve been TRAINED to think that to help someone is synonymous with charging them little or nothing.  This is warped thinking.  This is not true.

Another reason why I think this field has turned into the payment policies that it has is because as a whole, our people, spiritual people are ones that have been told over and over since we were young that we were wrong….. we doubted ourselves…. we weren’t heard… our voice didn’t matter…. we weren’t valued…. our power was taken away.

Can you relate to at least one of the items above?   I’m sure you can!

So how, in our society…. a paying society… a society where money is a display of power… well, it makes sense that people who have experienced the things listed above, would have their power taken away from them…. low self esteem… doubting themselves… thinking about other people’s needs over their own…. not properly taking care of THEMSELVES… well, then it makes TOTAL sense that our field would be set up as such.

Plus, of course many of us were brought up in the church (not I, I’m Jewish) 🙂 where clergy are expected to work for peanuts or for free…. but they make money too…

These thoughts are going to have to be examined if you are going to fully support yourself, live a life of luxury (and don’t go saying that money doesn’t mean much to you… this is a defense mechanism), and fully be in your power sharing your gifts with this world.

Lots of things to think about!